Luminous Parts Integration™: IFS for the Whole Human Being — Chapter 13. Parts in Relationships

The Developmental Canon14 of 16

"We do not fall in love with a person. We fall in love with the way our parts respond to the field created between two inner systems — and the real work begins when we discover that the field contains not only magic but also every unfinished piece of business our exiles have been carrying."

The Moment You Realize You're Not Fighting Your Partner

It begins so innocuously. A tone of voice. A forgotten commitment. A look that lasts half a second too long — or not long enough. And suddenly you are no longer two adults having a disagreement about whose turn it is to pick up the children. You are two entire inner ecosystems, each with its own history of wounds and protections, colliding in a space that neither of you fully understands.

She says, "You never listen to me." But the voice carrying those words is not the voice of a forty-year-old professional with a master's degree and twenty years of life experience. It is the voice of a seven-year-old exile who learned, in the kitchen of a distracted household, that her feelings were an inconvenience. The words are adult. The emotional charge is ancient.

He responds with silence — not the contemplative silence of a person gathering thoughts, but the frozen, impenetrable silence of a protector part that learned decades ago that engagement means danger. His body goes still. His eyes become opaque. Inside, a manager has seized the controls and is executing a protocol written in childhood: When feelings escalate, disappear. When closeness becomes demand, withdraw. This is how we survive.

Neither person is wrong. Neither person is "the problem." What is happening is something far more complex and far more interesting than the surface conflict suggests: two internal family systems are interacting, each one's protectors activating the other's exiles, each one's exiles triggering the other's protectors, in a dance so choreographed and so ancient that it can feel like fate.

This chapter is about understanding that dance — not to eliminate conflict (conflict between parts systems is inevitable and often generative) but to bring Self-leadership into the relational field so that the dance becomes conscious, compassionate, and ultimately healing rather than retraumatizing.

The Relational Field: Where Two Systems Meet

In individual parts work, we learn to create an internal relational field — the space between Self and parts where genuine communication becomes possible. The same principle applies in relationships, but with exponentially more complexity.

When two people enter intimate relationship, they don't simply bring their conscious selves. They bring their entire parts systems — every manager, every firefighter, every exile, every protective strategy ever devised, every wound ever sustained. And these systems don't politely wait in the wings. They actively participate in the relationship, often without the conscious awareness of either person.

The relational field — the living, dynamic space between two people — becomes a kind of meeting ground for parts. And the quality of the relationship depends enormously on which parts are doing the meeting.

When two people are in Self-energy — curious, compassionate, calm, clear — the relational field becomes a space of extraordinary potential. Creativity flows. Vulnerability is safe. Differences are interesting rather than threatening. Repair happens naturally and quickly. This is what people mean when they describe the experience of "clicking" with someone, of feeling "truly seen," of sensing that something larger than either individual is present in the connection.

But when parts take over — when protectors are running the show on both sides — the relational field becomes a battlefield. Not because anyone intends harm, but because protectors are designed to protect, not to connect. Their job is to keep exiles safe, and they will sacrifice relational harmony without hesitation if they perceive a threat to the vulnerable parts they guard.

Understanding this distinction — between a Self-led relational field and a parts-driven relational field — is the single most transformative insight the Luminous Parts Integration™ framework brings to the domain of relationships.

Luminous Reflection: What if the recurring conflicts in your closest relationships are not evidence of incompatibility but evidence of two protective systems doing exactly what they were designed to do — each one trying to keep its exiles safe from a danger that belongs to the past, not the present?

The Anatomy of Parts Interaction: How Systems Trigger Systems

To understand how parts systems interact across people, we need to introduce several key dynamics that the Luminous framework identifies as central to relational parts work.

Cross-System Triggering

The most fundamental dynamic is cross-system triggering: the process by which one person's part activates a part in another person. This happens constantly in intimate relationships, and it follows predictable patterns once you learn to recognize them.

Here is a common sequence:

Person A's exile gets activated by something in the relational field — a perceived slight, a moment of disconnection, a tone of voice that resonates with an old wound.
Person A's protector mobilizes to shield the exile from further pain. The protector might criticize, withdraw, blame, intellectualize, or deploy any of its characteristic strategies.
Person B's exile gets activated by Person A's protector. The criticism lands on an old wound of inadequacy. The withdrawal activates an exile who carries abandonment terror. The blame triggers a shame exile.
Person B's protector mobilizes in response to the activated exile — and now this protector's behavior triggers Person A's system further.

The result is an escalating cycle in which protectors on both sides are fighting each other while exiles on both sides are getting more and more activated — and neither person can see what is actually happening because they are blended with their parts and experiencing the whole interaction as "my partner is being unreasonable."

This is not a design flaw in human relationships. It is the natural consequence of bringing two complex inner systems into intimate proximity. Intimacy, by definition, means that we lower the drawbridge — we become vulnerable, we allow another person closer to our core than we allow anyone else. And the closer someone gets to our core, the closer they get to our exiles. Which means the closer they get to activating our entire protective architecture.

This is why intimate relationships are simultaneously the most healing and the most triggering of all human contexts. The very closeness that makes deep love possible also makes deep wounding possible — not because your partner is dangerous, but because your partner has access to the parts of you that are already wounded.

The Protector Dance

When cross-system triggering becomes chronic, relationships develop what the Luminous framework calls a protector dance — a repetitive, patterned interaction between protective parts that both people can predict but neither can stop.

Common protector dances include:

Pursue-Withdraw: One person's anxious protector ("We need to talk about this NOW") meets another person's avoidant protector ("I need space"). The more one pursues, the more the other withdraws. The more one withdraws, the more the other pursues. Both are protecting exiles — one from the pain of abandonment, the other from the pain of engulfment — but the result is a feedback loop of escalating distress.
Criticize-Defend: One person's critical manager ("You always...") activates another person's defensive manager ("That's not true, you're the one who..."). Each critical statement calls forth a defense, and each defense sounds like a counter-attack, which calls forth more criticism. Beneath the surface, both people's exiles are carrying shame — one who believes "If I don't point out problems, everything will fall apart" and one who believes "If I'm wrong about this, I'm fundamentally defective."
Over-Function–Under-Function: One person's responsible manager takes charge of everything ("I'll handle it, I always do"), while the other's passive protector retreats into apparent helplessness. The over-functioner feels resentful and exhausted. The under-functioner feels incompetent and ashamed. But both are locked in a complementary pattern that neither can break alone, because each one's strategy reinforces the other's.
Compete-Collapse: In some relationships, both people have powerful manager parts that compete for dominance — for being right, for making decisions, for controlling the narrative. When one person's competitive manager wins, the other's system may collapse into a young exile state — tears, despair, helplessness — which then activates guilt and caretaking in the "winner," resetting the cycle.

These dances are not conscious choices. They are automated responses programmed by each person's protective system, running in the background like operating system processes that consume enormous resources without appearing on the screen. And they can continue for years — even decades — without either person understanding the underlying parts dynamics.

Research by couples therapists John Gottman and Sue Johnson has documented these patterns extensively, though in somewhat different language. Gottman's "Four Horsemen" (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling) are, in IFS terms, descriptions of protector strategies. Johnson's Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) explicitly works with the attachment injuries — what IFS would call exile wounds — that drive the protector cycles. The Luminous framework integrates these insights while adding the developmental and somatic dimensions that enrich the work.

Appreciative Question: What if the repetitive conflicts in your relationship are not signs of failure but invitations — your parts systems showing you, with remarkable precision, exactly which exiles in both of you are most in need of healing?

The Somatic Dimension: Bodies in Relationship

Parts interactions between people are not merely cognitive or emotional events. They are profoundly somatic — they happen in and through the body, often before conscious awareness catches up.

When your partner's critical tone activates your exile, the first response is not a thought. It is a bodily shift — a tightening in the chest, a constriction in the throat, a sinking in the belly, a surge of heat in the face. These somatic signatures are the body's way of signaling that a part has been activated, and they happen in milliseconds, far faster than the cognitive processing required to formulate a response.

Polyvagal theory, developed by Stephen Porges, provides the neurobiological framework for understanding what is happening. The vagus nerve — the primary nerve of the parasympathetic nervous system — constantly monitors the social environment for signals of safety and danger through a process Porges calls neuroception. When neuroception registers safety (warm tone, open facial expression, regulated breathing), the ventral vagal system activates, supporting social engagement, connection, and the capacity for Self-energy. When neuroception registers danger (harsh tone, cold expression, aggressive posture), the sympathetic nervous system activates (fight or flight) or the dorsal vagal system activates (freeze, collapse, dissociation).

In relational parts work, these autonomic shifts are the body's parts speaking. The sympathetic activation that accompanies your angry protector is not merely a physiological correlate of anger — it is the protector, expressed somatically. The dorsal vagal shutdown that accompanies your frozen part is not merely a physiological response to threat — it is the protective strategy, operating at the level of the nervous system.

This has profound practical implications:

You can often detect parts activation in your partner's body before either of you has words for what is happening. A shift in breathing pattern, a change in muscle tone, a subtle withdrawal of presence — these somatic signals are reliable indicators that a part has been activated and that the relational field is shifting from Self-led to parts-driven.
Co-regulation — the mutual influence of one nervous system on another — is the somatic foundation of relational healing. When you are in ventral vagal activation (regulated, present, connected), your nervous system sends safety signals to your partner's nervous system, which helps their parts relax. This is not a technique. It is a biological reality: your regulated presence is literally a healing agent for your partner's activated parts.
Somatic attunement — the practice of sensing your own bodily state while simultaneously attending to your partner's — is one of the most powerful relational skills available. It allows you to notice when the field is shifting, to recognize which parts are activating in both systems, and to make conscious choices about how to respond rather than being carried along by the momentum of protective patterns.

The Luminous approach includes specific somatic practices for relational parts work, which we will explore in the practice section below.

The Developmental Dimension: Parts at Different Stages

The Luminous framework adds a dimension to relational parts work that is largely absent from standard IFS couples work: the developmental dimension.

Intimate partners often operate from different developmental centers of gravity — different stages of meaning-making as described by Kegan, Spiral Dynamics, and other developmental frameworks. And this developmental difference shapes how their parts systems interact.

Consider a couple where one partner's center of gravity is at Kegan's Order 3 (Socialized Mind) and the other's is at Order 4 (Self-Authoring Mind). The Order 3 partner's managers will tend to organize around belonging, harmony, and the expectations of important others. The Order 4 partner's managers will tend to organize around personal standards, autonomous achievement, and the integrity of their own internal value system.

When conflict arises:

The Order 3 partner may experience the Order 4 partner's self-authoring as abandonment — "You care more about your principles than about us." This is not a manipulation. It is the genuine experience of an exile who equates disconnection from shared feeling-space with rejection.
The Order 4 partner may experience the Order 3 partner's desire for harmony as engulfment — "You want me to give up who I am to make you comfortable." This is equally genuine — the expression of an exile who equates accommodation with self-annihilation.

Neither perception is wrong. Both are accurate reflections of how the world looks from inside each partner's developmental meaning-making structure. But without developmental awareness, each partner will interpret the other's behavior as a character flaw rather than a structural difference — and the protector dances that result will carry an extra layer of frustration because neither person can understand why the other doesn't simply see things differently.

The Luminous approach to relational parts work includes developmental mapping — helping each partner understand not only which parts are activated but what developmental stage those parts are operating from. This creates compassion for the structural constraints each person faces and opens new possibilities for meeting each other across the developmental gap with genuine understanding.

An important caution here: Developmental differences in relationships must never be used to establish a hierarchy of worth. The Order 4 partner is not "more developed" in any way that makes them superior. They are making meaning at a different level of complexity — which brings its own gifts and its own limitations. Developmental awareness in relationships is a tool for compassion, not a weapon for dominance. Any use of developmental language to position oneself above one's partner is a protector strategy, not Self-leadership.

Parts-Aware Communication: The Practice of Relational Self-Leadership

So how do we actually do this? How do we bring parts awareness into the living, messy, emotionally charged reality of intimate relationship?

The Luminous framework identifies five core practices for parts-aware communication:

Practice 1: The Internal Check-In Before Speaking

Before responding to your partner — especially when you feel activated — pause and ask yourself: Who is about to speak?

Is it Self — curious, compassionate, wanting to understand? Or is it a part — defensive, critical, dismissive, desperate, controlling?

This one-second internal check can be transformative. It doesn't mean you suppress the part. It means you notice it before it takes the microphone. And in that noticing, you create just enough space to choose whether to let the part speak directly or to translate its concerns through Self.

The somatic version of this practice: before speaking, take one conscious breath and notice what you feel in your body. If you feel contraction, heat, tightness, or numbness, a part is likely activated. Acknowledge it internally — I notice you're here, and I care about what you need — before engaging with your partner.

Practice 2: Speaking FOR Parts Rather Than FROM Parts

This distinction, drawn from Schwartz's original work, is one of the most practical tools in relational parts work.

Speaking from a part means the part has taken over and is speaking directly: "You never care about my feelings!" (This is the exile's pain, spoken through a manager's accusation.)

Speaking for a part means Self is present and is translating the part's experience into language that can be received: "There's a part of me that feels really unseen right now, and it's activating some old pain. I don't think you're doing anything wrong — but I need you to know what's happening inside me."

The difference is seismic. Speaking from parts almost always escalates conflict, because it lands on the other person's system as an attack, activating their protectors. Speaking for parts invites the other person's Self to show up, because it contains vulnerability rather than accusation.

This is not easy. When your exile is screaming and your protector is locked and loaded, the last thing your system wants to do is slow down and translate. It feels like asking someone to write a sonnet while their house is on fire. But this is precisely why it is called a practice — it develops over time, through repetition, through failure, through repair.

And the good news: you don't have to do it perfectly. Even a partial shift — even catching yourself mid-sentence and saying "Wait, let me try that again — there's a part of me that..." — changes the entire dynamic of the interaction.

Practice 3: Listening FOR Parts in Your Partner

Just as you can learn to speak for your own parts, you can learn to listen for parts in your partner — to hear, beneath the surface content of their words, the parts that are driving the communication.

When your partner says "You never help with anything around here," you have a choice. You can hear it at face value — as an accusation, an attack, an unfair generalization — and respond from your own protector. Or you can listen through the words to the part that is speaking and ask yourself: What exile in my partner is this protector trying to protect?

Often, the answer is clear once you know to look for it. "You never help" may be a manager's strategy for protecting an exile who carries the belief "I have to do everything alone or everything will collapse" — a belief that probably formed in a family where the child had to be the responsible one because no adult was reliably available.

When you hear the exile through the protector's words, your own response naturally shifts. Instead of defending yourself against the accusation (protector meeting protector), you might say: "It sounds like you're feeling really overwhelmed and alone with all of this. Is that what's happening?" This response speaks directly to the exile's experience, often causing the protector to relax because its message has been received.

This is not mind-reading, and it is not excusing hurtful communication. If your partner's protector is being genuinely abusive, the appropriate response is boundary-setting, not empathic translation. But in the vast majority of relational conflicts — the everyday collisions of protective systems that constitute normal intimate life — listening for parts is an extraordinarily powerful practice.

Practice 4: The Repair Conversation

Conflict is inevitable. Protector dances will happen. The question is not whether you will get triggered — you will — but whether you can repair after the triggering with enough regularity and depth that the relationship becomes more secure over time rather than less.

The Luminous repair conversation follows a structured process:

Regulate first. Do not attempt repair while either person is still activated. Take time apart — even ten minutes — to settle your nervous systems. This is not avoidance; it is respect for the biological reality that repair cannot happen from a sympathetic or dorsal vagal state.
Each person identifies which parts were active. "My inner critic was running the show." "My withdrawal part took over." "There's a young part of me that felt really scared." This naming process is itself an act of unblending — it creates space between Self and parts and allows each person to take ownership of their inner experience without blame.
Each person shares the exile beneath the protector. This is the vulnerable step — and it is the step that transforms conflict into intimacy. "Beneath my criticism, there was a part that felt invisible. It's an old feeling from my family." "Beneath my withdrawal, there was terror. When voices get loud, a young part of me believes I'm in danger."
Each person receives the other's vulnerability with Self-energy. This means listening without defending, without explaining, without trying to fix. Simply receiving: "I hear that a part of you felt invisible. That matters to me. I'm sorry my withdrawal made that worse."
Together, acknowledge the dance. "We did the pursue-withdraw thing again. Your pursuit activated my withdrawal, and my withdrawal activated your pursuit. Neither of us was wrong — our parts were doing what they know how to do." This shared acknowledgment externalizes the pattern, making it something the relationship has rather than something the partners are.

Gottman's research shows that the ratio of repair attempts to conflict incidents is one of the strongest predictors of relational longevity and satisfaction. The Luminous framework enriches repair by making it a parts-aware, somatic, developmentally informed practice rather than a purely cognitive "talking it out."

Practice 5: The Relational Parts Check-In

This is a preventive practice — a regular ritual that builds parts awareness in the relational field before crisis hits.

Once a week (or more frequently during periods of stress), partners sit together for twenty to thirty minutes and each share:

What parts have been most active this week? "My achiever manager has been in overdrive. I've been checked out from us because a part of me is terrified about the project deadline."
What exiles have been stirred? "There's a part that feels like I'm failing at everything — work, parenting, being a good partner. It's an old shame exile."
What do my parts need from you? "I don't need you to fix anything. I just need you to know what's happening in my system so I feel less alone with it."
What parts of yours have I noticed? This is offered gently, with permission: "I noticed your caretaker part has been working overtime this week. I've been wondering if there's something underneath that." This observation is offered as a gift of seeing, not as a diagnosis or accusation.

Over time, this practice creates a shared vocabulary for the inner landscape that transforms how partners navigate difficulty. Instead of "You've been so distant lately" (an accusation that activates protectors), you can say "I think your withdrawal part has been more active — and a part of me is getting anxious about it. Can we check in?" This is the same information, but delivered in a way that invites Self-energy rather than protector escalation.

Creating Self-Led Relational Fields

The ultimate aspiration of relational parts work is not the absence of parts activation — that is neither possible nor desirable. Parts will be activated in intimate relationships because intimacy, by its nature, touches the places where we are most sensitive. The aspiration is Self-leadership in the relational field — the capacity for both partners to recognize parts activation when it occurs, to unblend sufficiently to respond from Self rather than from protector, and to create a shared space in which even the most wounded exiles can eventually be met with compassion.

This is not a destination. It is a practice — a daily, imperfect, often humbling practice that develops over years. There will be days when both partners are beautifully Self-led, navigating a disagreement with curiosity and warmth. There will be days when protectors hijack both systems and the old dances replay with depressing fidelity. The measure of relational health is not the absence of protector activation but the speed and depth of return to Self-leadership after activation occurs.

Several conditions support the development of Self-led relational fields:

Individual parts work. Each partner's capacity for relational Self-leadership is directly proportional to their capacity for internal Self-leadership. You cannot offer your partner a quality of presence that you have not cultivated within yourself. This is why individual IFS work — whether with a therapist, through meditation, or through the daily practices described earlier in this book — is the foundation for relational parts work.
Shared understanding. When both partners understand the parts framework, they share a language and a set of concepts that make relational parts work exponentially more effective. The invitation is not for one partner to become the "parts expert" who diagnoses the other, but for both partners to become co-learners in the art of understanding their shared inner landscape.
Tolerance for imperfection. Parts work in relationships is messy. You will speak from parts when you intended to speak for them. You will hear accusation when your partner is offering vulnerability. You will trigger each other in exactly the ways you thought you'd outgrown. This is not failure. This is the nature of the work. The Self that leads your relational life is not a Self that never makes mistakes — it is a Self that meets mistakes with compassion, curiosity, and the willingness to try again.
Professional support when needed. Some relational parts dynamics are too entrenched, too activated, or too connected to severe trauma for partners to navigate alone. Working with a therapist trained in IFS couples work or Emotionally Focused Therapy can provide the external holding that allows both systems to soften enough for genuine repair. Seeking professional help is not a sign of relational failure. It is a sign of relational intelligence — the recognition that your relationship deserves the same quality of care you would give any other precious and complex system.

Common Pitfalls in Relational Parts Work

Pitfall 1: Using parts language as a weapon. "Your inner critic is attacking me again" is not a parts-aware communication. It is a parts-aware accusation. Parts language must never be used to diagnose, label, or pathologize your partner. It is a tool for self-understanding and compassionate communication, not a vocabulary for sophisticated blame.

Pitfall 2: Expecting your partner to do your parts work for you. Your partner cannot heal your exiles. They can create conditions that support your healing — through presence, patience, and compassion — but the inner work of meeting your wounded parts is yours to do. Placing the burden of your healing on your partner's shoulders is a protector strategy, not Self-leadership.

Pitfall 3: Premature exile sharing. Sharing vulnerable exile material with a partner whose protectors are still activated is risky. The exile material may not be received safely, which can deepen the wound rather than heal it. The Luminous principle: make sure the relational field is regulated and safe before offering exile vulnerability. This means checking in with your partner — "Are you in a space where you can hear something tender from me?" — before opening the most vulnerable doors.

Pitfall 4: Avoiding all conflict in the name of parts awareness. Parts awareness does not mean conflict avoidance. Some protectors will use parts language to shut down legitimate grievances: "I think your critical part is activated" can be a sophisticated way of saying "Stop complaining." Genuine relational Self-leadership includes the capacity to name hard truths with compassion — to hold both tenderness for the parts involved and honesty about what is happening in the relationship.

Pitfall 5: Neglecting the systemic dimension. Relational parts patterns do not exist in a vacuum. They are shaped by gender socialization, cultural norms, economic pressures, family-of-origin patterns, and other systemic forces. The pursue-withdraw dance, for example, is strongly gendered in many cultures, with women socialized toward pursuit and men toward withdrawal — not because of innate difference but because of decades of conditioning about how each gender "should" handle emotional intensity. Parts-aware relational work that ignores these systemic dimensions risks locating the problem entirely within the individual psyches of the partners while leaving the larger forces that shaped those psyches unexamined.

Mental Health Note: Relational parts work, as described here, is designed for relationships where both partners are fundamentally safe and well-intentioned. In relationships involving abuse, coercive control, or active addiction, the dynamics are qualitatively different, and the priority is safety rather than parts exploration. If you are in a relationship where your physical or psychological safety is at risk, please seek specialized support from professionals trained in domestic violence intervention. Parts work can be profoundly healing — but it must happen within a container of basic safety.

The Luminous Vision: Relationships as Mutual Healing Fields

We close this chapter with the larger vision that animates all of Luminous relational parts work.

Intimate relationships are not merely contexts for personal satisfaction or companionship, though they can be both. At their deepest, they are mutual healing fields — living systems in which two people's inner ecologies interact in ways that surface exactly what needs to be healed, in the precise order it needs to be healed, with the exact intensity required for transformation.

This is not a romantic idealization. It is a recognition that the triggering, the conflict, the protector dances — all of it — carries information. Every activation is a message from an exile: I am here. I am still wounded. I need your attention. Every protector dance is a map showing you the precise coordinates of unfinished business in both inner systems.

When partners learn to read these messages — to see conflict as signal rather than noise, triggering as invitation rather than injury — the entire meaning of the relationship shifts. Difficulty becomes curriculum. Repetitive patterns become diagnostic precision. And the hardest moments become, paradoxically, the most intimate — because they are the moments when both people are closest to their most vulnerable parts, which are also their most authentic selves.

The relationship that heals is not the one that avoids triggering your exiles. It is the one that triggers them in a field of sufficient safety and Self-leadership that they can finally be met, witnessed, and unburdened.

This is why the Luminous framework regards intimate relationship not merely as a site of personal growth but as a sacred practice — a practice as demanding and as rewarding as any meditation, any therapy, any developmental discipline in the Canon. It requires everything you have: your courage, your compassion, your willingness to be seen in your most unfinished state, and your faith that the person across from you — with all their parts, their protections, their wounds, and their beauty — is worthy of the same quality of attention you bring to your own inner healing.

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The Relational Practice: A Weekly Invitation

This week, try one of the five practices described in this chapter. Begin with whichever feels most accessible — perhaps the Internal Check-In Before Speaking, which requires only a moment of pause, or the Relational Parts Check-In, which creates a structured space for shared vulnerability.

Notice what happens when you bring even a small amount of parts awareness to your relational field. Notice the difference between speaking from a part and speaking for a part. Notice what changes in your partner when you listen through their protector's words to the exile underneath.

And be gentle with yourself. This is perhaps the most challenging application of parts work in the entire Canon — because it asks you to maintain Self-leadership not in the quiet of your own meditation practice, but in the heat of live relational contact with another whole, complex, beautifully imperfect human being.

Your parts will take over sometimes. Your partner's parts will take over sometimes. The old dances will play. And then — because you are practicing — Self will return. And in that return, something new becomes possible. Not perfection. Something better: conscious, compassionate, imperfect love.

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"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed." — Carl Jung

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